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|Subject: Ato kinsei (WIP) Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:54 am|| |
Name:Ato kinsei(Scar symmetry)
He also have a scar from the left side of his jaw down to the right side of his ribs.
He has no watch.
Personality: Ato kinsei is a messy personality who is very arrogance and grins all the time.
He dos not respect anyone and insults th eone he meets.
He is kinda paranoid to and rather stand with his back against a wall than by a open space.
He is also a playfull man who is kinda ridicolus sometimes and loves to play on his gameboy.
He can also be a heartless killer as he does not back down to even kill a puppy if it is in his way and one of his favourite things to do after a fight is to put his killed opponents head on its sword.
Birthday:14th of august
Rank applying for:vizard
Ex Division/Rank:10th division/vice captain
Likes:Gameboy and people who gets mad at him
Dislikes:Rina todou(will tell why), people in love and sunny days.
Hobbies:Playing gameboy and beat up bad guys he encounters.
Other Information: He does not accept a apologize
History: As Ato was a vice captain under Rina todou and 10th squad of the gotei 13 he was challenging rina for the post as captain for the squad but Ato was beaten and belived to be dead but instead he claimed the power of a hollow and no he searching for revenge at Rina.
But it has not allways been like that, once Rina and Ato was closest friends but one day in the real realm he encounterd an vizard that did twist his mind and made him the personallity he is today, so he decied to challenge Rina for the post as 10th squad captain an fill the seireitei with his own vision of power.
The first years as a vizard Ato was struggle to fit in into the gang of vizoreds who did finally find him, but he was seen as a outcast.
Ato was very respected in the seireitei and at a long time he served as the 10th squads vice captain and was very happy with it and his friendship with Rina todou but even he had a dark side at that days.
He did not felt like he belonged in the soul society he wanted something more...much more.
After he was defeated by Rina he did hide himself in the world of the living as a ussual spirit and hided for shinigamis but when he encounterd hollows he did kill them with pleasure and caused trouble for the soul society since they couldnt find out what i was that killed the hollow before they have made it too the location.
But one day Ato was granted to take the powers of a great slothhollow who was tierd of the sorrow he felt in his emyt chest.
After Ato has absorbed the hollow powers he felt free and vicious as he now can control watermass tho he still was alone and he starting to feel it as he alway saw people who laughed and kids that was playing and have the time of their life.
But at last he found it, a old gameboy with a whole bag of games, he did test it and from the moment he started the game he loved it, this could easily replace the presence and love of a person he taught but besides that he did still feel the power of revenge in his heart and one day he WAS going to kill Rina todou...
Manifestation: an ancient sloth.
Unique Ability: meimusa:Its ability is to manipulate water and even to make it rain.
He can not create water but he can manipulating all ready excisting water and he dos not need to rest between the time he uses it.
He can make it rain by manipulating the small watermasses in the clouds.
The distance he has to be to control the water depends on the amount of water he is going to control(500 liters/1000 meters-1000 liters/750 meters)
Hollow Mask Appearance: http://media.photobucket.com/image/hollowmask/petimanus/Hollow_Mask_by_Iron_Fox-1-1.jpg
Duration: It lasts for 10 posts and need a 7 posts cooldown.
Zanpakuto Name: reiseikou
Zanpakuto Looks: It looks like a normal katana but it is sharp on both sides.
Zanpakuto Description: It has no other ability than grant its user a encanted speed.
Released Zanpakuto Description: It got the ability to manipulate the lightning(description how is said below)
Zanpakuto Release Phrase: light up the sky reiseikou
Released Zanpakuto Looks: The blade is still the same.
Name of Technique:God of lightning
Description of technique:It grants Ato the power to manipulate the thunder, not as a lightning bolt from his and, but he can decide where and when a lightning bolt will be fierd from a cloud.
Preparation time: instant
Cooldown: Rest of the battle
RP SAMPLE:Ato kinsei sits down under a huge amount of water who seems to hover in the air right above him.
His eyes is on the three shinigamis in front of him who is looking at the water with a shocked expression.
"You thought three unseated officers could stop me Rina? Then you are wrong...dead wrong!
The water shapes into three spears who each is piercing the shinigamis as it is formed red and then released into the ground as Ato smiles widely and stands up as he chops one of the shinigamis head of and toss it into the lake beside him and laughts laudly and starts to walk away.
He draws his righ hand trough the hair and smiles.
"Pathetic....one day Rina todou, you will be mine
Last edited by Lightning on Sun Nov 28, 2010 2:36 pm; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : cause the words of an admin.)
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:02 am|| |
Please use our template.
Vice-Leader has already been taken.
Please lengthen your personality to at least a paragraph.
Please Lengthen your History for it's too short.
To what extent does it manipulate thunder? What can he do with this thunder, etc.
Overall be more descriptive and use our template.
|Subject: well Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:36 am|| |
posted tho it was your template i only forgot the vizard app part^^
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:48 am|| |
For you mask, you said it can manipulate water. To what extent? Does it have a cool down? Can it create water or manipulate body of water? If so what is the most water he can manipulate at any given time? How close does he have to be near water? You say he can even make it rain. Does that mean, he controls weather as well?
Your history is still waayy to short(long at the history of those who have been approved).
What all can he do with thunder? Since it just nothing but sound. He can't control when and where lightning strikes for he doesn't have any control over that.
Make the changes...and I will look over it again
|Subject: Ato kinsei Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:00 pm|| |
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:14 pm|| |
Going to allow; the other admins/mod to look at this. For they might have questions as well.
|Subject: ato kensei Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:57 pm|| |
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:19 pm|| |
Please add a cool down to your water manipulation ability.
|Subject: ato kinsei Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:23 pm|| |
So my friend ive added a duration inkl a cooldown too my watermanipulation^^
thank u for taking time to look through him if u see something else that needs to be changed dont be shy to ask^^
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:27 pm|| |
alright....^_^ wait for the other head admin to look at this. for she might have something to say
|Subject: ato kinsei Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:30 pm|| |
Im not very happy with this char as im used to do much longer histories but ive been kinda tierd the last days, worked to late in the night
Posts : 335
Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : In the Sea of Blood covered in ashes.
Posts : 872
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : Australia
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:39 am|| |
I'm sorry i hate doing this but i am unapproving this app until the following is changed, perhaps the others missed it but i didn't and it is important.
* the personality needs to be longer and in paragraph form
* the history is not fitting the site, Rina is only just very recently taken over the spot of captain due to the disappearing. Therefore your history makes no sense whatsoever. Please re-write it and fit the plot.
* i don't plan on letting anyone have the ability to control the weather that is op'd in my opinion so please remove the part of his ability that he can make it rain. The water manipulation is fine.
* how many bolts of lightning can he fire per post?
* a non-released zanpaktou doesnt grant speed that would a released zanpaktou also the zanpaktou description part is for the looks of the blade.
also the rp sample needs to be a bit longer for a former vicecaptain rank.
i will look over the app once you have done this.
|Subject: ato kinsei Wed Nov 10, 2010 4:35 pm|| |
Sure i will do that but u have to wait a couple of days cause i having a tuogh days at the work
|Subject: Re: Ato kinsei (WIP) || |