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    Ataris Juan



    Posts : 10
    Join date : 2011-01-06

    PostSubject: Ataris Juan   Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:17 am

    Quincy Application:


    Name: Ataris Juan
    Alias/Nicknames: Grim Reaper
    Gender:Male
    Age: 17
    Rank: Suterusu Captian

    Appearance:
    Quincy Cross: A ring on his middle finger of his left hand. Hanging from it on a small three inch long chain is the Quincy Symbol.
    Blood Type: O -
    Measurements: ??
    Sexuality: Straight
    Relationship status: Single

    Jobs/occupation: Librarian of the Library his grand parents started.
    Personality: Calm, collected and very grudge holding aginst Shinigami. Has a lack of care for any life except for the president herself. Willing to kill anyone to make her safe or achieve a goal. He is actually kind outside of his 'Battle Mode', where he becomes cold and distant. Not used to social interaction. As he is still young and has nt had a very good childhood, he is rather shy and in extremes can be quite childish.
    Birthday: January 14
    Family/Relatives: His grandmother, Nana

    Likes: Ramen
    Video Games
    School
    Dislikes: n00bs
    Milk
    His grandmother
    Hobbies: Gambling
    Quirks: Almost always eating something
    Other information:

    Character History:
    Ataris was born in america, as an american, but one half japanese. He lived with his parents in California until he was six, knowing not what he was. Three days before his sixth birthday his parents were killed in a terrorist attack. He lived alone for three weeks until child services came and took him to live with his mother parents. Who lived in Venice, Italy.

    They were the people wh told him about quincy's, saying they disapproved of his parents reasons for nt telling him sooner. They kept him home at all times, home schooling him and teaching him of the quincy's, training him. By his tenth birthday he was a extremely skilled Quincy, better than most. He had no friends and no hoddies other than gambling with his grandfather. Smething which he also excelled At. When had had been ten for three months, hollows attacked and killed his grandparents. He did not bat an eyelash, but silently killed the hollows with ease that so easily overcame his mentors. He knew then he was outside the range of there teachings, using this and many other excuses to not feel pain on their death.

    Yet again, after three weeks, child services took him to his fathers parents in Japan. He moved t find only his grandmother, Nana, alive. She owned a Library and his appearence gave her an excuse to retire. Letting him run it in her place. He often trained n his free time, his grandmother oblivious to his actions. Seemingly oblivious to the fact the Quincys existed. Until he could start highschool he did nothing but that. On his first day of actualy school before he left she revealed herself to be a very high ranking soldier of a Quincy, and that he would be soon one too. He brushed it off and went to school. Becoming a book worm with no friends, ignoring all happenings.

    One day his grandmother finally took him to meet the President of the Quincy's. He met her, and was not very reactive, until he heard that his mother used to have the position as the Presidents secretary. Ataris did not know where the feeling came from, but he felt an urge to walk in his mothers footsteps. He quicky tried his best to prove his worth and after 7 months, three months before his 17th birthday he gained the position of the capian of the assasination Captian and made it his life goal to service the President any way he could.

    Armor/Glove Information

    Name: Hisaga
    Bow Manifestation:
    It is a sharp flowing bow of Spiritual energy in the shape of a Bulls eye with two lines intersecting in the middle that continue outside the circles. These lines actually stop to form a small circle in the exact center where the bows are shot from It is near pure black but the circles are purple. The arrows are black. The bows string in the four lines coming together to form a aawkward looking way to fire but a very effective one.
    Looks: With his glove on his attire changes to a long cape that attatches to tight long sleeves. All this completely black, with the quincy cross on the back of his cape in purple. His pants becmone completely black and quite baggy, with a long dress like piece that parts in the front hanging off his waist.

    Techniques (no more than 3 unique abilities to begin with)

    Name: Stinger Death
    Description: Fires off a volley of 749 shots with such speed they seem to all come at the same time. Each shot is like that of a normal shot, but all together the impact of all these arrows causes a large explosion, One that can emit over 90 G's of force for the first 10 meters away from the blast. fires off slowly to make a constant rain of death upon the opponent. He can movie uring this, but nothing big. So he can move side to side and walk.
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration:N/A/2 posts
    Cooldown: 7 posts

    Name: Goddess Protection
    Description: Focuses spirit energy to create a dome of varying size that is powerful enough to block a average captian level kido of level 60 and below. There is also a offensive side to this ability, as phsyical contact with this ome will deliver a painful shock with powerful knockback. This shock will Numb the use of the limb that touched it, making it usable, but for nothing to advanced, or fast. ( If it is the head it will knock out a weaker opponent.)
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration: 1 post
    Cooldown: 2 posts

    Name: Harolding Call
    Description: Creates up to three clones (At a time) that cannot speak. Each able to use thier own weaker versions of his bow at 1/10th his orginal strength. They cannot feel pain and can survive more than any normal being. Able to get half of them blown away and still attack and the way to kill them is to obliterate most of them (60% may be destroyed before they will die) . Over time they will heal ( Instanly for minor wounds, 2 post for medium sized wounds, 4 posts for large wounds). Their physical might is horrid, and could barely match up to a seated officer for only a short time. They make up for it in speed that is 2x faster than Ataris himself.
    Preparation time: 3 posts
    Duration:8 posts
    Cooldown: 8 posts


    RP SAMPLE:

    Hitori turned a street corner in the ever so popular mist village. Then walked down the street toward the Mizukage’s building. He was in the normal Leaf Shinobi clothing, vest and everything. He approached the gate to the building only to be stopped by a swarm of mist Shinobi. They asked him what he was doing and he responded with “ I am here o slay your beloved Mizukage. “ To which they responded with shouting at him to get on his knees and hands behind his head. Obviously he did not.

    They charged him and he did not move, he got 14 katana’s though the chest, but still stood.“ Damn you. “ He said, smiling underneath his bandages. Then he feel to the floor, but before he did, he saw a figure jumping over the walls surrounding the building. A figure wearing a blood red hooded cloak.

    Hitori knew the plan would work. Send in a clone to distract all the security as he snuck into the building. Now came the difficult part, staying in without getting caught. See his usual method of getting information on a place was mafia. Though the mist had ta1ken care of all mafia, so they had none. Hitori would have asked Haiechi to get the info for him, but Haiechi was doing something and Hitori was on a schedule.

    He chose this day because he had been in town for a week now, writing down notes on the comings and goings of the city, what he saw and did not see. Though he always liked to top it off with military information. That is why he was stealing from the Mizukage. The more he thought about it though, Haiechi was too loyal to give away information on his beloved mist. He would most likely hurt Hitori badly for doing this.

    Either way, as he snuck into the building, he changed. He looked like a older black male, with a deep voice. He was also wearing Mist Shinibo outfit, so many jutsu cam in handy for theft. He walked through the halls of the building aimed straight for the kage’s office. He got there to find the door open and the office empty.

    Now came a different part, he had to find files on the military or anything else. Copy them down and leave. Before he searched the place he closed the door and created a clone of a mist ninja he bumped into on the way to the office. He let him guard the door as he searched. Hitori began to tear through files, being careful to leave no trace of his being there. He found many interesting files on economical values, military values and recreation values. Noted all of them down. He looked through the building employee files and found nothing of interest, other than seeing Haiechi’s middle name and almost laughing his butt off. He looked through the drawers of the desk and then decided it was time to move to a different room.

    The next room he was looking for was where they would keep all secret files. As he walked through the halls with his created Mist friend, he had him ask around for a room like that, to no avail. He did note the lack of security once you are inside the building, compared to just walking in. People were kind, smiled at you and sometimes waved. The ninja and people of the Mist village, when not defending their territory or attacking at your throat, are quite kind people. Very contrast to the Sound, where people were selfish and savage at all times, except some few.


    He might use this to his advantage when he comes for their Sanbi leader. He would not just be doing this if the Sanbi was here right now. No, he would take it and bring it back to be absorbed. Then copy the files and destroy the building. Leaving no trace of him ever being here. There was no one in the village that could stop him from doing it, so he knew it was possible.

    After twenty minutes of searching he finally found the room of choice. Again using his clone to guard the entrance he opened the door and walked in. There were two people in the room, who before they could tell him to leave he knocked them unconscious with two palms to the side of the head. He then took their weapon pouches and emptied them. Laying the weapons down in a star shape. He did this for no reason other than bored and surprised to find ninja.

    He then began his search. He rooted through files, throwing things all over the place. One of the ninja started to wake so he decided to kill them. He took out a kunai and slit both throats, pouching the kunai again. He did not care about cleaning up. He simply started looking again. Took him five minutes to find what he was looking for, and he wrote it down and burned it. Leaving the room in haste.

    When he left he found out his clone had left a mess, as it was surrounded by dead bodies. Hitori shrugged and made a run towards the Mizukages office. He sent the clone in the other direction, to make sure no one came form behind. He encountered two Nin on the way, slicing their throats also.

    Making it too the office he encountered four jounin. Two of whom in the confusion he crushed their skulls with a punch each. Then jumped out the window with the other two jounin following. He made it away by running through the mountains. Though he could not lose the tail of the jounin.

    He waited till he was far enough away that he could not be joined by any more people. He stopped in a densely wooded area of the mountains. The two jounin showing up not 10 seconds after. One was very tall and clad in a long black cloak, with short blonde hair. He had a katana in his left hand and a short dagger in the other. Obviously a sword user. The other was Hitori’s height and female. She had long red hair and was in the normal Mist ninja apparel, she showed no weapons on her. Though he guessed she was a sensor as that would be the easiest way to track him.

    He was out of his henge jutsu and was in his blood red cloak that covered him completely. He motioned at the two and laughed, “ Is this all you have sent? “ He pulled out Chicko and Fred, “ This will be easy... “ He grinned evily behind his hood.

    Then girl started forming handseals as she screamed, “ You murdered our friends! We will kill you! Why did you do that anyway? “ The taller one, who seemed like the silent type just stood there, waiting.


    All hitori did was cock his head to the side, “ Friends? Well I killed them for money. “ He said without emotion. Casuing the girl to scream in anger and send a burst of water shaped like a dove at Hitori. He responded with A fireball shaped like a dragon head. Which engulfed the water and continued heading for the two ninja. It was a direct hit. Though when the smoke cleared it showed the girl, slightly burnt, behind the guy with his sword in a defensive position. Surrounded by a mist, must have used a water based defense.

    Grunting as the man lunged at him Hitori used his chakrams to fend him off. The man was extremely good at his art. Hitori found no openings. Though he managed to jump away and form handsigns as his hands burst into flames. So when the man came for a second go, Hitori caught each blade between two fingers. Making a clicking noise with his tongue he snapped each blade and kicked the man in the gut, sending him barreling back into a tree trunk.

    He then did more handsigns and was suddenly behind the girl, bringing his palm down on her. Crushing her completely into the ground, her screams of agony could be heard throughout the forest. Hitori then turned his attention up as the man climbed out of the trunk, unharmed.

    Cursing himself he noticed something off about the man. He seemed a lot larger than before. Almost hulk size. Then man lunged at him, Hitori dodged the punch and jumped away as he saw the ground around where he was become destroyed. He cursed himself as he formed handsigns, his entire body burst into flames and he grew claws and fangs.

    When the man came again, Hitori stopped the punch with a single finger then punched him in the face sending him flying 500 yards. Clearing a line through the forest. Hitori ran after him, though he was stopped short when the man started coming at him, bigger than ever. When he reached hitori and attacked him, Hitori only swatted him aside by b**ch slapping him in the face. Still going extremely easy on this man.

    Yet again the man came up. Hitori was bored of this. Hitori jumped on the man and punched him square in the face full force. The crater was massive, the shockwave huge. The head, gone. Until it grew back. Again, he punched and again the same thing. Again and again he punched this man and he refused to die.

    So Hitori punched him one last time and jumped into the air, forming handsigns and hitting himself in the gullet he fired out another large fireball the that looked like a dragon. Hitting the man head on and vaporizing him and everything around him. Landing he grunted as he turned off all his jutsu. Then left in a hurry before anyone showed up. Marking down what he juts encountered, the Unstoppable Man he called him.


    Last edited by Ataris Juan on Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:01 pm; edited 11 times in total
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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:26 pm

    Hi,

    Quote :
    Personality: Calm, collected and very grudge holding aginst Shinigami. Has a lack of care for any life except for the president herself. Willing to kill anyone to make her safe or achieve a goal. He is actually kind outside of his 'Battle Mode', where he becomes cold and distant. Not used to social interaction.
    Could you please add some more personality ^^

    Quote :
    Name: Stinger Death
    Description: Fires off a volley of 1111 shots with such speed they seem to all come at the same time. Each shot is like that of a normal shot, but all together the impact of all these arrows causes a large explosion. Or he fires them off slowly to make a constant rain of death upon the opponent.
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration:N/A/2 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    How large is the explosion it causes? and how powerful? Is he able to move when he is firing them off over the 2 posts?

    Quote :
    Name: Goddess Protection
    Description: Focuses spirit energy to create a dome of varying size. It is a very powerful dome and can keep a captian out for a long time. There is also a offensive side to this ability, as phsyical contact with this ome will deliver a painful shock with powerful knockback. This shock will Numb the use of the limb that touched it. ( If it is the head it will knock them out.)
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration: 6 posts
    Cooldown: 5 posts
    How large is this dome able to be (maximum/minimum) Keeping a captain out would be a very hard thing to do especially for a long time. Please lower the strength of this shield, also the duration. When you say that it numbs the use of the limb, how long would this be for? Also complete numbing of the limb would be too much. Since the shield has both a defensive and offensive nature both needs to be balanced and the power overall halved to fill each so it isn't overpowerful.

    Quote :
    Name: Harolding Call
    Description: Creates up to three clones (At a time) that cannot speak. Each able to use thier own weaker versions of his bow. They cannot feel pain and can survive more than any normal being. Able to get half of them blown away and still attack. Over time they will heal (1 post). Their physical might is horrid, and could barely match up to a seated officer for only a short time. They make up for it in speed that is greater than any quincy.
    Preparation time: 3 posts
    Duration:N/A
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    How much weaker is the bow they can use? I think there would be a limit to the fact they can still attack after damage xD i mean if one leg is gone then good luck moving and if one arm is gone etc What do you mean they will heal over time? how much? Being that fast is too much, please tone it down.

    Sincerely,
    Lightning/Orihime


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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:21 pm

    Edited
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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:47 pm

    sorry for the wait, with the floods happeninf where i live i have had a hard time getting online.

    Quote :
    Name: Stinger Death
    Description: Fires off a volley of 1111 shots with such speed they seem to all come at the same time. Each shot is like that of a normal shot, but all together the impact of all these arrows causes a large explosion, size and power relative to about 15 pounds of C4 going off. Or he fires them off slowly to make a constant rain of death upon the opponent. He can movie uring this, but nothing big. So he can move side to side and walk.
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration:N/A/2 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    The power of that blast is far too much (after looking up the power of c4) it will need to be lowered.

    Quote :
    Name: Goddess Protection
    Description: Focuses spirit energy to create a dome of varying size(It is a very powerful dome and can keep a luitenant out for a long time and a captian for 3 posts). There is also a offensive side to this ability, as phsyical contact with this ome will deliver a painful shock with powerful knockback. This shock will Numb the use of the limb that touched it, making it usable, but for nothing to advanced, or fast. ( If it is the head it will knock them out.)
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration: 5 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    Instead of saying that the dome can keep out a lieutenant for a long time or captain for 3 posts lets just give the strength of what it can block before being destroyed. I dont think if this shield is going to be offence and defence it should have a duration, it should be a sort of one post defence type.[/quote]

    Quote :
    Name: Harolding Call
    Description: Creates up to three clones (At a time) that cannot speak. Each able to use thier own weaker versions of his bow at 1/10th his orginal strength. They cannot feel pain and can survive more than any normal being. Able to get half of them blown away and still attack and the way to kill them is to obliterate most of them. Over time they will heal ( Instanly for minor wounds, 1 post for medium sized wounds, 3 posts for large wounds). Their physical might is horrid, and could barely match up to a seated officer for only a short time. They make up for it in speed that is 3x faster than Ataris himself.
    Preparation time: 3 posts
    Duration:N/A
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    What is most of them? you need to be more specific.
    and that level of regen is far too much for something 1/10th the strenghth of him or any kind of summon really, please lower it quite a bit. Also the speed should be lowered as well, maybe to 2 times at very max.

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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:11 pm

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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:23 am

    Quote :
    Name: Stinger Death
    Description: Fires off a volley of 1111 shots with such speed they seem to all come at the same time. Each shot is like that of a normal shot, but all together the impact of all these arrows causes a large explosion, One that can emit over 300 G's of force for the first 10 meters away from the blast. fires off slowly to make a constant rain of death upon the opponent. He can movie uring this, but nothing big. So he can move side to side and walk.
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration:N/A/2 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    * 300g's is way too powerful i read up on it in wiki and even only astronauts experience like 15g's O.O
    * Also since the president can only fire 1000 arrows max you need to lower your number to below that in a suitable manner.

    Quote :
    Name: Goddess Protection
    Description: Focuses spirit energy to create a dome of varying size that is powerful enough to block even the strongest of Kido. There is also a offensive side to this ability, as phsyical contact with this ome will deliver a painful shock with powerful knockback. This shock will Numb the use of the limb that touched it, making it usable, but for nothing to advanced, or fast. ( If it is the head it will knock them out.)
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration: 1 post
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    * I dont believe that a shinigami etc would be knocked out by this so please remove it or change it to 'may knock out a weaker opponent'

    Quote :
    Name: Harolding Call
    Description: Creates up to three clones (At a time) that cannot speak. Each able to use thier own weaker versions of his bow at 1/10th his orginal strength. They cannot feel pain and can survive more than any normal being. Able to get half of them blown away and still attack and the way to kill them is to obliterate most of them (60% may be destroyed before they will die) . Over time they will heal ( Instanly for minor wounds, 2 post for medium sized wounds, 4 posts for large wounds). Their physical might is horrid, and could barely match up to a seated officer for only a short time. They make up for it in speed that is 2x faster than Ataris himself.
    Preparation time: 3 posts
    Duration:N/A
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    * The cooldown needs to be much larger or a duration added to the life of the clones otherwise you could thoeretically have clones constantly available.


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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:46 am

    Edited, and teh amount of g's now is not lethal, powerful but not lethal.
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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:15 pm

    Quote :
    Name: Stinger Death
    Description: Fires off a volley of 999 shots with such speed they seem to all come at the same time. Each shot is like that of a normal shot, but all together the impact of all these arrows causes a large explosion, One that can emit over 90 G's of force for the first 10 meters away from the blast. fires off slowly to make a constant rain of death upon the opponent. He can movie uring this, but nothing big. So he can move side to side and walk.
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration:N/A/2 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts

    A single arrow less than the president? That's utter bullshit. Lower it to 250 at least, considering that they are explosive. And the cooldown should be more than 4 posts, 7 at the very least.

    Quote :
    Name: Goddess Protection
    Description: Focuses spirit energy to create a dome of varying size that is powerful enough to block even the strongest of Kido. There is also a offensive side to this ability, as phsyical contact with this ome will deliver a painful shock with powerful knockback. This shock will Numb the use of the limb that touched it, making it usable, but for nothing to advanced, or fast. ( If it is the head it will knock out a weaker opponent.)
    Preparation time: N/A
    Duration: 1 post
    Cooldown: 4 posts

    The strongest Kido? If this shield could protect him from harm from even the strongest Kidou, I would say that it only could last one post and have a cooldown of one topic. Do also remember that Kidou's power not only is measured in terms of numbers, but also in the power of the user. Lower it the power of this shield drastically and please also mention what kind of power-level it blocks. The cooldown of this one should also be lowered, please.

    Quote :
    Name: Harolding Call
    Description: Creates up to three clones (At a time) that cannot speak. Each able to use thier own weaker versions of his bow at 1/10th his orginal strength. They cannot feel pain and can survive more than any normal being. Able to get half of them blown away and still attack and the way to kill them is to obliterate most of them (60% may be destroyed before they will die) . Over time they will heal ( Instanly for minor wounds, 2 post for medium sized wounds, 4 posts for large wounds). Their physical might is horrid, and could barely match up to a seated officer for only a short time. They make up for it in speed that is 2x faster than Ataris himself.
    Preparation time: 3 posts
    Duration:8 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts

    I would like to request a longer cooldown for this technique (and by longer, I mean several posts, not one or two post).

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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:51 pm

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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:24 pm

    70 Kidou might be a little bit too much, lower it to 60 at least, please.

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    PostSubject: Re: Ataris Juan   Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:01 pm

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